A Raucous at Walmart

The other day I made a quick trip to my local Walmart store. My husband works from home so if I am doing a quick errand and he doesn’t have a conference call I can usually go without the kids. Luckily this was one of those times.  So I zipped into the store grabbed a cart and set off for the Dairy aisle. Without kids slowing me down I easily maneuvered around all the slow pokes and Sunday drivers. I had 4 things on my list and within 5 minutes I already had 3 of them and I was headed to aisle 9 to grab pizza sauce and then check out.  As I rounded the corner past the meat department I heard the sound of loud angry voices. I noticed that everyone was stopped in their tracks and staring down the aisle.

Can of Contadina

I slowed my pace as I approached my destination. As I peered down aisle 9 I located the noise! There were 7 maybe 9 angry adults with 4 or 5 carts clogging the aisle.  They were yelling and screaming and pushing each other into the shelves.  My first thought was “Crap I really need to get down that aisle.” My second thought was “I better get out of here before someone pulls a gun or throws a can of Contadina!”

 

I decided to make a B-line for the produce department so if a gun was pulled I could hide behind the potato cart. I clearly was not alone in this thought process as about 10 other woman were headed that way.  Of course there were still several on lookers with their small children gawking at the brawlers. Heading toward the potato safety zone I passed about 10 Walmart employees armed with walkie talkies running toward aisle 9.  I must note that the brawlers were all very large adult men and woman and the employees were all small woman and girls. I  had my doubts on any real resolution to the fight or my ability to get my pizza sauce and go home.

 

Somehow the 17 year old employees were able to make the crazies disburse, at which point I dashed in and grabbed the final item on my list. As I made my way to the check out you could hear little pockets of fighting breaking out all over the store. It seemed to me that as the brawlers disbursed through the store they would randomly run into each other and start fighting all over again. The young employees with their Walkie talkies for protection stood all around the store with their fingers on the triggers.  Ready at moments notice to call each other and say “They are fighting in aisle 5 now run away run away!” The girl at the check out said “Yeah we has fights here all the time, it ain’t no thang!”

 

As I left the building 4 police cars pulled up blocking the entrance of the store.  The cops rushed in to save the day. I am sure the lovely ladies in blue and beige were thrilled to know they could finally release the buttons on their walkie talkies.  They were now able to return to their registers where they can continue to not smile for the rest of the day.

 

I drove home through my middle class residential neighborhood which is less than 5 minutes from Walmart and wondered why fights break out all the time here. Why 2 minutes down the road at Target the employees are cheerful and clean and the shoppers are smiling and happy. What is the difference is it really as simple as trashy people go to Walmart? I mean the prices are about the same the merchandise is about the same. How can 2 stores in the same 4 block radius attract completely different employees and clientele? I can’t answer that question but I can say that I am grateful that my kids were not with me and I can guarantee you that I will not be shopping at Walmart any time soon.

My little Wrestlers

So my kids have been sick for a week and a half at least. Coughing, runny nose and lots of whining.  So couple that with normal holiday stress and I am pulling my hair out.  So even though I was dog tired yesterday morning from ringing in the New Year I got us all dressed and dragged myself to church. My kids needed the outing and I needed to feed my spirit. After church there was a lull in the coughing so I decided to do some grocery shopping. My local store WEGMANS has a great play place for the kids. You can leave them for up to 90 minutes in a fantastic well supervised environment while peacefully shopping or sitting in the cafe drinking a cup of coffee. My kids love this place and it is always a treat for me to know they are having fun and I get a few grown up minutes to myself. So I got to the store made everyone go to the bathroom then trotted my little guys to the play place.  Only one other kid was there but I knew the boys would enjoy the toys and the care providers. I blew kisses and waved goodbye and headed for the coffee counter. I roamed the store with no real purpose just sipping my coffee and enjoying myself when all of a sudden over the loud speaker I hear myself being paged to the play room! My first thought is that someone has to go poop. As I walk up to the door expecting one or more children holding themselves and dancing around I am met with an apologetic faced teen. “I am so sorry but your boys were fighting and the Goon is bleeding  “. Um WHAT!!!!  I looked into the room and sure enough there sat my little monsters. The Goon was bleeding from a scratch on his cheek and sobbing hysterical and Noodle was pouting angrily with his little fists clenched.  Great I am not That Mom with Those Kids.

 

I put on my best “Mom Voice” and tried to reprimand him with all of the correct phrases I learned on Dr. Phil and Oprah.  All I wanted to do was yell at them but I kept my coo.l Then of course had to make them walk around the store with me while I got the actual groceries I needed since I had squandered all my time drinking coffee.  So for the next 20 minutes I walked around the store while both kids cried. The Goon cried because his face hurt and he wanted me to buy him something.  Noodle cried because he felt it was really his brothers fault and he should not lose privileges when he got home. It seems that the boys were playing video games and Goon didn’t like something so he slapped his big brother and then Noodle scratched him back.  Lovely.

 

I can not even begin to tell you how many times we have had the “your brother is your best friend” conversation.  Or the “we don’t hit when we are mad” conversation.  Most days I feel more like a referee than a mother. I try to let them work out their little squabbles and disagreements and step in when they are yelling or start hitting each other.  I sometimes wonder if having them so close together, which was by choice, was a really bad idea.  I am told all the time that they are boys and boys will be boys. But I really hate that saying. I don’t see why just because they are boys I should allow them to literally wrestle out all of their issues.  I hate grown up men who think they have to fight or be physical so am I just raising my kids to be a couple of Tools? I feel like I am talking to a wall I don’t fight with my husband we never yell at each other. We certainly don’t hit each other or throw things. So where do they get it from. Most of the cartoons they watch are the same ones I watched as a kid. So here I sit saying another New Years prayer that my boys will grow up to be great men. To love each other to be good partners and productive members of society. That they will come to dinner at my house once a week and mow my lawn. I pray they will be safe and healthy that they will grow up strong and happy. I also pray that they will not grow up to be WWF Wrestlers even though I am sure that is a lucrative career.

The Husband Surprise

So my 6 year wedding anniversary is coming up in a few weeks and last night my husband and I got to talking about that fact. We reminisced about the years we have been together like we usually do every February as it marks the anniversary of our first date and our wedding. As we were joking and being silly my husband asked a simple question along the lines of “Did our life turn out the way you thought it would?” or “Am I the way you thought I was?” and much to BFF’s chagrin I answered him.

I told my husband that I thought he had far exceeded my expectations. That when we first got together I didn’t think he was very ambitious. I guess that was kind of a shock to him Oops? Just so you know I really lucked out! My husband is an incredibly hard worker and has excelled at work far beyond my wildest dreams. But truth be told I kind of thought he would float job to job and always be searching for the next big thing.

In my husband’s defense I grew up in a family of women who didn’t think very highly of their men. Well if they did they certainly didn’t show it. I had very few if any solid marriage role models. I kind of figured that men were suppose to be funny, mow the lawn, watch TV and hang out and drink a beer. I kind of always thought I would always work and run everything. That I was always going to be the boss. I also thought it was normal when women got together they would bash their husbands. It took me a long time to realize that I could either dwell on what my husband did wrong and be miserable or concentrate on what he does right and be happy. I mean lets face it we can all make a list of what we don’t like about our partners. Nit picking is easy.

I remember about a year into my marriage I was at a family function and I heard everyone complaining about their husbands and sons. I made a conscious effort to break the cycle. I made a promise to myself that I would never say anything bad about my husband to anyone else. I would never talk about a fight we were having or something he did I thought was wrong. The reason for that was #1 it’s none of their business and #2 if I repeat those frustrations they become bigger in my mind. No one is perfect (Lord know I am not at all). What do I gain from complaining? Nothing! What am I losing? A lot!

At the end of the day I have a great husband the man is not perfect but he loves me and he loves our kids. He is a great provider and he is funny and charming. I really lucked out 6 years ago I married a man who had more potential than I dreamed. I also have learned to share responsibilities with him. What a wonderful realization that I did not have to do it all alone. That he isn’t my dependent but my partner. We have mutual respect and shared dreams. When I followed him 8 years ago leaving my single life behind I had no idea what I was getting into. I followed my instincts and jumped in feet first. I waded my way through lots of emotional obstacles and together we knocked down walls of insecurities. I am so grateful to say that my life is nothing like I thought it would be it is infinitely better.