So I took the boys to Payless to get new sneakers yesterday. I always have a little sense of trepidation as I walk into a store. I am sure many parents struggle with finding things their kids want that work into the family budget. I know I have several friends with teenagers who struggle to agree on what is appropriate for a teen to wear. My struggle is figuring out how to handle my 3 year old sons request for everything pink, pretty and girly. Do I crush his dreams with a NO. Do I give in and face our disapproving family and worry that he will be ridiculed by his peers?
This is my struggle every time I walk into a store.
Yesterday as we walked from the car my little Goon started asking “Can I get Girl Shoes please mom?” My response was “let’s go and see what is in your size.” My 5 year old picked out a great pair of sneakers he ran up and down the aisle and he felt like a cool cat! I tried to get his little brother to get the same pair and be JUST LIKE BROTHER! No Deal. Then I pulled all the boy shoes off the shelf. NOPE No Deal. He spotted the pink dress up shoes and was smitten. 
Thankfully, we were looking for sneakers so those really didn’t qualify. Although he was pretty disappointed he went along with my logic. He quickly vetoed all boy shoes, he even insisted a pair of perfectly fitting SPIDERMAN sneakers were killing his feet because they were “so tight!” I was starting to realize I had 2 choices, refuse to buy him what he wanted and deal with the tears and heartache or let the 3 year old have the sneakers he wants. I also realized that I let the 5 year old pick out his sneakers and he picked out super cool black sneakers with lime green stripes. This didn’t bother me at all they were in my budget and they fit great. But here I sat ready to cry because my happy little man wanted Purple Sparkle Dora sneakers. They were in my budget and they fit him great. SO the real reason I didn’t want to buy them was because they are unacceptable in my society. They are GIRL shoes and everyone will know it. They are NOT BOY SHOES and people will stare at him. They are NOT what everyone else wears in his class. I realized that my real problem was what everyone else is going to think and say.
I looked at my special little guy and although I was fighting back tears I bought him the Purple Sparkle Dora Sneakers. Though I was heartbroken my little Goon was beaming from ear to ear as he skipped out of the store on his way to the Carousel for a ride on the Pink Horse!
Mom Thank you so much for my Dora Sneakers I love them SO MUCH!!!!
Panekroom's Blog 
You made me misty. You’re a good momma. 🙂
Thank you!
Good on you for not caving to societies expectations and doing what was right for your kid. I wish there were more brave parents out there like that. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a little boy liking purple and sparkles and Dora, or flowers or pink or ruffles. Just like there is nothing wrong with my little girl preferring to smash toy cars together and wear hockey jerseys – it irks me to no end that I’m expected to dress my girl in pink and sparkles all the damn time. My kid is going to like what she likes, and it’s my job as a parent to support that (as long as it’s not illegal or harmful to others of course!)
So again, big thumbs up from me on making the more difficult, but ultimately best, choice.
Thank you for your comment! I agree 100% your daughter should be able to wear whatever she wants!
Way to GO!!!!
More little boys need mothers like you! What a wonderful mother you are!
Thank you
OK, so I totally cried reading this. This parenthood stuff is hard. Don’t know what I would’ve done. You’re a good mom! 🙂
Righy back atcha!
God, I am so grateful that you are his parents!
I have 2 daughters. The oldest just turned four, she is the type who will wear a ruffle skirt and go play in the dirt and skin her knees. Halloween of ’10 (when she was almost 3) she wanted to be woody from toy story, so I got her the costume. Anytime someone would say “what a sweet cowgirl” or something similar, she would get very upset and say she was “WOODY! He’s a boy!” lol! Even today, I took her to McDonalds and asked if she wanted a my little pony or a transformer toy, I told the lady in the drive through “for a boy please”
Why is it more acceptable for a girl to wear boy stuff? It usually goes unnoticed, but a boy with purple glitter shoes?! What a tragedy or worse yet, a parenting fail!! (thats me mocking society)
Kids like what they like and dont really understand why things are different. who cares, let them enjoy these silly petty things while they can and hope as they grow they will learn to be themselves.
Good for you Momma!
I admire you and your hubby for taking the steps you all are to make your little guy grow up to be the person he wants to be. I know our generation wasn’t necessarily raised to be as accecpting of these things, but I know that his (Goon’s) will be and they may not be as hard on him as WE, the adults, the leaders, the teachers may be. (((HUGS))) to you both!!!
What an inspiration you are for many, Aubry. This blog made me laugh and it made me cry. You truly are an inspiration and God bless his little heart.
xo
Jimmy
Thank you honey did you read Todd’s blog? Tmpinsyr.com looks like we had similar thoughts yesterday as we both blogged about the Goon and his sneakers.
Hi! I first read your husband’s post, and then followed the link to read your post. Though I am not a parent (yet), I truly hope that when that day comes that I am able to put aside societal convention and standards and rear my kid(s) with the patience, understanding, and grace that you both have demonstrated — so my kids can learn to be confident with who they are regardless of what society thinks they should become. Thank you for sharing!
You are amazing
I wish I had a mom like you growing up. I will be 26 soon and I am a tomboy to the fullest, but have learned to “soften up” as I have gotten older. Growing up I HATED all things pink and girly. I just wanted to get dirty and play with the boys. My mother did not appreciate this at all. I had to learn the word compromise at a very early age. I hated and still hate dresses and skirts.maybe one day I will don one o.O
Growing up I wore my favorite pair of Beetlejuice sneakers and my favorite Captain Planet and Little Mermaid watches, the ones with the flip face plate. My room was pink, only because that’s what society expects from girls and what my mother expected from me. I really wanted blue walls, or red…but that was too boyish. I still won the bed battle and got a car bed, until I wore it out. I hated Barbies and would rip their heads off ( to deter my mother getting me anymore Barbies) I loved my cars and my stuffed animals.
In pre-school I hated playing with the dolls, I rather had played at the water table with the sandbox and cars, trucks and boats and I felt free to do so. My mother doesn’t much care for my particular style as it is not “feminine enough” , but I honestly don’t have the build for half that garb, and I think I have always known that. If I could describe my style it would be androgenous. I have learned to appreciate the color pink, especially if it is accented with black and I still sport Batman and Hello Kitty; make-up and basketball shorts 😀
Your son may grow out of his style sense, or he may embrace it further… either way, you are doing an excellent job by letting him choose and not giving him a complex!
You are a great parent. I too have a pink boy and he is almost 5. I wasn’t brave enough to buy him the girly glitter shoes he wanted. But tomorrow I am going to buy glittery fabric paint to sparkle up his boy shoes.
It’s not easy but some times we have to just let them be who they are! Good Luck!
Yaay! Dar Williams would be proud of you–do you know her song “When I Was a Boy” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcOlkA3ghf4